Enterprise Rent-A-Car "We'll Fuck You Up!"

The bad part about traveling by train to Chicago is that if you want to do anything outside of the immediate area of your hotel, you have to rent a car. Renting said car is expensive, to say the least – not to mention the ridiculous gas prices in a big city.

So, Becky and I are in Chicago (yes, the same trip as the "burn curse" entry before this one) and I have a second interview in Woodridge [read: West suburbs] and had to rent a car.

So, B and I are staying in the Hyatt Regency, and there’s supposedly an Enterprise Rent-A-Car on-site. So the night before I needed the car, I call Enterprise, and apparently the on-site location has been closed – as of that day. Suck.

We needed the car the next AM so I could get to the burbs by mid-AM. It also happens to be the day we’re leaving Chicago to go back to Springfield. So the plan is to:
1. Check out of hotel in the AM
2. Load up into a cab
3. Take cab to Enterprise location
4. Load up rental car
5. Do interview
6. Drive back, return rental car
7. Take cab to Union Station
8. Get on train back to Springfield

The plan seemed good enough. I mean what could go wrong/? I could never, EVER imagine what happened next.

So steps 1-3 went ok enough – save that there was something going on near the hotel that had like 235723 tour and school buses everywhere. IT took like 20 mins to go 8 blocks.

Finally, we get to Enterprise (on Lake St.) – we pull up front, and unload the cab. We tip the cab driver for not killing us on the way there.

I go inside and proceed to get the paperwork going for my rental. There are about 5 employees in the location, and I notice that the young agent is looking out the front window and talking to another employee. There’s a truck/van thing with flashing lights in front of the location.

Young agent sarcastically to to lady agent: “Well, that’s gonna be good for business.”

Both agents walk away and go out into the garage.

Perky brunette agent is still getting my car info ready – checking my license, etc.

I see the two agents looking around through the garage exit at the street/front of the store. They pace a bit, talk and then come back into the store where they then get another guy and are talking, behind the counter.

Lady agent “Well, someone’s going to have to say something…”
Young agent “I guess I can, what should I say?”
Lady agent “Just ask [something something] move. [something something] few minutes, [something something] police.”

It's at this point that I realize they are talking about B and our bags. They thought she was a homeless person out there with a set of luggage and nice bags - just stopping to live on their sidewalk.

See, after we got out of the cab, I asked B to wait outside with our bags (they were heavy to carry) until I get the car and then we’ll load it up. It was a nice, cool morning, and when I got the car, we have to drive out of the garage. Seems logical to just wait there.

Perky Brunette agent hands my paperwork to me, asks me to sign. And then asks if I need anything else. And I say…

“I hope you’re not going to go out there and say something incredibly stupid to my friend who’s waiting with my bags.”

You could have heard a pin drop.

Seriously, crickets.

Perky Brunette – who was truly oblivious to what was going on - said to the other agents “You didn’t say anything to that lady did you?”

To which I reply –“No, but *I* heard everything they were saying about her.”

So then Young Agent and other guy agent start stumbling to apologize. Saying things like “Why didn’t you guys come in, it’s air conditioned in here?” etc. Ridiculous.

Guy agent then says – why don’t I go and help her put your things in the car? Good idea, shitchowder.

After we’re done with the car, we returned it and they asked how my experience was. I told them all was great except thinking my best friend was a homeless person. They apparently heard all about it, apologized again. The guy behind the counter actually says to me “Well those things happen.” What? Huh? Other girl at the location says “No, it doesn’t, and it’s been dealt with.”

Dealt with… hummm.