hey texas friends, i miss you. love, me

There aren't many things I miss about Texas. Chicago's just a much better fit for us - money-wise, weather-wise, opportunity-wise.

But I miss my Texas friends. And this weekend I missed them more than I have since I moved, I think.

Not that my Illinois friends aren't great, they are - but I'm just so fucking frustrated.

There's tons going on right now. We bought a house, and the hubby has a horrible schedule (10-7 in the city - so he's gone from 8a - 9p every day), so I'm left to do everything, really. I have to pack the house, do all the errands, work on the new house -except for Saturday and Sunday, when Mike is home. And to afford said house, I have to work my regular day job and do freelance. So I'm working 8:30-5:30 then doing freelance every night for a couple of hours and then eating dinner with the hubby, then an hour of freelance before going to bed.

Spreading things thin, I am - which is leaving me no time to do anything I really enjoy (like starting back at doing comedy again, or singing/writing music).. but that's life, and I chose what I have.

I guess yesterday I just got upset as I stood in my front yard, raking it all myself - hubby was off to pick up a friend from the airport... knowing that I have to pay movers, paying a painter to finish the house, paying a friend of mine to help me pack the house. I guess it just all got to me.

I guess I just feel like my Texas friends were more of the hand-lending type. More give and take. They would offer to help and show up and do what needed to be done. They weren't too busy for me. They didn't expect to get paid to lend a hand.

But I have it so easy, right - what with no kids to worry about, a good paying job, a new house... And I'm just frustrated right now. And overwhelmed. And feeling as though I really can't count on anyone to just be there for me when I need them.

It's fine, really - just frustrated and I needed to get this out before I took it out on anyone and regretted it.

So yeah, I miss my Texas friends. Not because they'd do things for me and more importantly with me - but because with those friends I guess I just feel there was give AND take.

And before anyone asks, this is not directed at anyone in particuloar or any situation in particular.- it's just how I'm feeling right now, in general.

just because you're a "doctor" doesn't mean you're not a douchebag

My dear friend, boogerphobe recently ran into a case of a very bad veterinarian. I wanted to post my thoughts (and emails) here.

You can read boogerphobe's related posts - here, here and here.

Also, our mutual friend, invisibelle, posted a good backgrounder (DO READ THIS!!) and her email in this post.

I decided to send an email to the vet clinic the other day.

Here it is...

To Dr. Hulka and the staff of Green Oaks North Pet Hospital Arlington, Texas

I think what you did to the *Smith*'s regarding Odin was just completely horrible. You treated that family like they are bad pet owners and made a very difficult decision even harder. I will be sure to tell everyone I know about what you have done (including your misleading the *Smith*'s regarding reporting the bites) and what terrible people you are and what an unethical business you run. I am going to post all over the internet and in every community related to animals and animal care that Green Oaks North Pet Hospital in Arlington is a dangerous place for both their pets and their family. I am also going to contact the local newspapers and reach out to all the local media about this horrible injustice.

*Mr* and *Mrs* *Smith* are two of the best people I know, and two of the most responsible pet owners I've had the pleasure of knowing - and for you to take the decision of how to handle their pet out of their hands to do what is best for both Odin and their own safety - how dare you! Odin is a beautiful dog who was brought up on a family of immense love. The decision to put Odin down was one that *Mr* and *Mrs* came to as a very last resort. They had taken lots of time, money and different routes to help Odin's behavior, only to come to the last resort - having Odin put down before he hurt himself or someone terribly.

Dr. Hulka - they trusted you. You were a great vet to Taffy and Odin - *Mr* and *Mrs* raved about you. And for you to take that trust and for your staff to do what you did to Odin and the *Smith*'s in the this situation is just so incredibly horrible and disgusting. How dare you betray that trust!

For you and your staff to turn Odin's last days into a horrible time in a cage and strange place is just completely unacceptable. What you have done is not only turn the last few days of an exceptionally loved and cared for dog into a nightmare - both for Odin and his owners, but you've also managed to take a relationship between pet owners and their vet into a hostile one.

I don't usually wish bad things on people, but I will do everything legally that I can to be sure your business suffers as a result of this. If even just one pet owner decides against using your services, it will be time well spent and I will consider it a win. Unfortunately, no amount of suffering your business could endure would be anything like how you've made the *Smith*'s suffer.

AverageJane


Dr. Dye (the counterpart to Dr. Hulka) at Green Oaks North Pet Hospital in Arlington, Texas replied to me today.

You can read his reply here...


And, with that -
Here is my final reply...

Dr. Dye -

Thank you for replying to my email. I know you have already received a reply from Mrs. *Smith*, so I will try to keep this brief.

First, your assertion that the *Smith*'s situation may have been one of convenience only goes to show that you and your staff are, indeed, the shallow doctors I believed you to be when I initially heard Mrs. *Smith*'s recalling of the events relating to Odin. Clearly your office is only skilled to deal with routine pet issues. I think that is valid information for the public to know.

Next, your claim that the law requires you to report any bites is, in fact, false. Before my last email to you - and before looking up the law in Arlington myself (which is available on their site), I spoke with a dear friend fo mine with over 10 years as a veterinary technician. She informed me that she knew only of a law that required a report if there was broken skin or a means of rabies to be transferred. As a layperson who does not work in pet care, I find it completely absurd that you would, based only on a phone conversation that you were not first party to, relay not only false information about said law to the *Smith*'s, but also to the authorities. If a simple person, like myself, can understand a black-and-white law, then you, sir, a veterinary health professional with doctor credentials, should have known this.

Third, based on the facts as relayed in your email - I am even more convinced now that not only did you and your clinic/staff act unprofessionally - you defrauded the *Smith* family by relaying false information to them about the law you used to have Odin impounded. That, sir, is misconduct and unprofessional I hope, armed with your very words, the *Smith*s pursue every avenue they have available to have you and your staff formally charged with such misconduct.

In closing - libel and slander are only such if the information relayed is false. I am confident that the information I have is true, and am further backed up by your email response, where you misquoted the very law in which you caused Odin and the *Smith*s to unjustly suffer. Please know that I will be happy to quote you in any communications about this matter as I surely want people to be able to decide for themselves, based on the facts you presented.

You see, Dr. Dye, whether or not you "tolerate" my actions to warn others of your potential to to not act in an ethical or professional way does not negate the fact that you and your staff were wrong - provided false information and, subsequently caused harm to the *Smith*s.

Thank you and have a very nice day -
AverageJane

the gun debate

Too many shootings. Just too many. *shakes head* In what seems an instant, a cold-blooded coward takes the lives of innocent people. And, as if to snub Justice, turns the gun on himself - the most cowardly act of all.

We've all heard the debates...

1. Guns are too easy to get. Guns should be under tighter restrictions or banned altogether.
   
2. There should be more guns available to law abiding citizens.

I have to say I am more of the side 2 mentality, but not because I believe that these instances would have a different outcome (though partially, at least, I believe that the number killed could be at least partially mitigated). It's because I believe that by law abiding citizens having the ability to carry their weapons concealed and for personal defense, and not be restricted as to where they may carry, it would stand as a major deterrent for these nutjobs.

But, of course, we're talking about crazy mother fuckers here, so with that in mind, I shall continue with my thoughts...

When is the last time you heard of a cowardly killer going to a police department or a military base or an NRA meeting and carrying out a shooting? That's right, never. Because in all of those instances, even a messed up wannabe murderer knows that there are no easy targets in those situations.

These campus killings, store shootings, etc, all have one thing in common - they happened in situations where sane, law-abiding citizens were prevented, by law, from protecting themselves or others. These innocent victims were asked to place themselves in a situation where they were fish in a barrel - ripe for the picking by whatever crazy-ass lunatic burst through the doors.

Getting rid of guns, having stricter gun laws does NOTHING to prevent whackjobs from carrying out these horrific murders. Because criminals will always be criminals. They don't care about tighter gun laws any more than they care about gun-free school zones any mroe than they care about paying sales tax. They will find guns, they will kill people with them, and it's just the average Joes and Janes who will be left with absolutely no recourse whatsoever to fight back. And don't even get me started on knives, mace, etc.

Just you try bringing a can of pepper spray to a gunfight.

necesito aprender español. google no funcionará más.

"Olle vato, que paso? Yo soy con mi mi que no? Cayate puto!"

That's what hubby's friend's wife said to say to my neighbor - who is outside right now (11:33pm CST) shoveling his driveway. Seriously. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. You live in a dense residential area (dark green for you Sim City fans)... where the houses are 10 feet apart, tops...

what
the
fuck
is
wrong
with
you?

Tonight we had 1 inch of snow, maybe 2, tops.

The other night (we got about 5 inches overnight), he was out at 12am shoveling - and his toddler was outside with him...

This has to be against the noise ordinance, right? I mean there wasn't enough snow there to get stuck in. Seriously.

WTFIWWY?

I should open the door right now and say "¿Dónde está mi pistola?"

Alas, I am scantly clad - it's 11:38pm, after all.

the middle road

Last night was my intermediate comedy class graduation show... I didn't go up.

I am not sure what went wrong with this class - or rather not just one thing led me to these feelings. Maybe I'm just a bitch - but this was in no way an "Intermediate" class. The majority of the class had also been with me in the beginner class (which was a prerequisite for the Intermediate class). I really feel that had I had a chance to be in a class with those who had been doing comedy on a regular basis for a year or more, things may have been different. From day one of the class through last night, the instructor and even the co-instructors had no idea I had been doing comedy for well over a year - on a regular basis.

And while I don't think I'm good - hell, most times I struggle with doing an OK job, I'm not a nuts and bolts beginner. But I was treated that way. I know how it feels to get up in front of a primed audience who is there to laugh at everything you say. I know how that feels - it feels great... and I love that I have had that experience already - but that wasn't what I was looking for from the Intermediate class.

I wanted to network, to get some tips to write better, to perform better , to network and to be seen by the booker at the club.

Honestly, the class made me dislike doing comedy. Made me dislike writing comedy (which I already struggled with) and made what little confidence I'd built up over the past year and a half crumble beneath me.

Not fat enough to tell fat jokes - when in reality I'm not that much smaller than the biggest guy that was in my class. Not white enough to talk about how white I am - but I am truly whiter than the guy who used that for nearly 3.5 of his five minutes. And from week to week - the criticism I got directly contradicted what I heard previously. The criticism I had acted on and worked hard to remedy for the current class. I was lost - and the work I was putting in - for nothing. What I had on paper didn't even sound like me... and it was worse on stage. I was just reciting lines.

I emailed the class organizer last Friday and hope he'd have passed onto the instructor I wasn't going to go up (and even why) - but he didn't. So I had to deal with "Just go up, you'll love it." badgering from the instructor up to show time. Never mind he didn't care WHY I wasn't going up... he didn't even ask... And I didn't bother to tell anyone in class why I wasn't going up. I didn't want to cause a scene or any other such. Well, those who read this blog know - but I didn't go up last night - not because I'm chicken - I LOVE the stage. I LOVE comedy. I didn't go up because it would have been someone else up there, telling jokes I didn't believe in, that I didn't find funny, that I didn't feel represented me.

You see, I want to work hard - and then do my best. And if I fail, I fail because I didn't work hard enough, or didn't write well enough. And if I succeeed, I want to know I got that laugh because I worked damn hard for it. I want to earn my responses - good or bad.

So, given all of that, the way I saw/see it - I had 3 options:

1. Do the material "I've" written in class - and unfortunately I don't feel comfortable with, I'm not committed to it and and I don't feel like it's me - so that option means not being true to myself.
2. Do my own material I do believe in, which is disrespectful to the instructor and what he's asked for in the class.
3. Refrain from participating but be there to support my classmates by being in the audience.
   

So right before the show, just before the instructor came around with the order (he had me in the 2 spot, and was going to put me up regardless of what I said), one of the co-instructors actually took a few minutes to sit down and ask me why I wasn't going up. I told him all of it, and he seemed like he understood. I really appreciated that. He gave me his email address in case I ever want some feedback (and I do).

And right up until I walked out the door last night, people were commenting on how one day I'd get up there, and that I'd love it and they'd probably see me at open mics someday.

Someday...

This did do one thing for me - it solidified WHY I do comedy - for ME. It IS all about me - and if I'm not going to go up and be me, I'm not going to go up at all.