Friday, June 09, 2006

setting sail...

Please excuse for a few moments if I become "Emo Jane"... I've been spending so much time writing comedy (my new stand-up obsession) - I have to get out some serious thoughts now and then.

A few weeks ago I made a post about my birthday and did a mini-rant about friends... and how I felt let down, and discouraged with some of them. Trish had a great comment back about the ebb and flow of adult friendship... and it made me go "Huh!" and really think about my perceptions.

I think this year was particularly hard for me because my best friend, Marla, wasn't there to celelbrate with me. And while I did a great job of focusing on the friends who did make it - I started to get a bit distraught at the fact that a lot of the people I consider friends - well, they really aren't.

I don't want this post to be about how this or that person is a bad friend, because, frankly, I'm just as bad of a friend in some cases. I'm not one of those "Pot", "Kettle" people - well, not most of the time.

What I really wanted to post about is about a couple of new friends I've recently made. And while not detracting from any current, old or now defunct friendships in my life - I wanted to share a bit about this friendship.

For the first time in a long time, I've had the opportunity to meet and now get to know a couple of people who I feel completely open, honest and "myself" with. Honestly, it's not all that comfortable at times - because people like this tend to make you not only see the good things about yourself, but evalute those things that need changing... but man, that's what the essence of a true friendship is - isn't it?

Anyhow, all of my neurosis, all of my insecurity, all of my drama, all of my vulnerability - these people seem to just take it all in stride, and never stop reminding me that I'm pretty damn cool just how I am. And it's not all puppies and kittens and roses - I also count on these people to call me out when I'm being ridiculous or stupid... and to give me that necessary kick in the ass that I need... but when I had a rough day - they sent me flowers... which are now sitting happily on my desk and put a smile on my face each time I see them...

They never forget to let me know that even with all my issues - they still love me just as I am.

It's such a rarity to find - people like this. I found one of them about 10 years ago now, at college. I found one about 9 years ago - who I later married. And now, I have found two people who are very quikly becoming very dear to me...

And not even because they are wonderful, talented, witty, charming, remarkable people in their own right - but because they make me want to be all of those things - and more. And make me want to be ok to just be me.

I love you guys.
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2 comments:

Betsie said...

It is hard to define a good friendship. Now adays it seems like those people you think you will know forever are now floating away. It happens a lot, but deep down you know the ones that last. I am still really young and have a lot to learn in life, but I think I have grown into those great friendships better by having a few shitty ones. You know the good ones around you best when they are not like the bad ones before.

Canticles said...

*hugs* You rock!