Wednesday, July 12, 2006

fun with spammers - farmers insurance

Part 1 - Unsolicited "Career" Emails from Farmers Insurance

Here's the correspondence - after the SEVENTH email of this type I've recieved from someone at Farmers over the past 2 months - I replied with my standard Farmers Spam response.

From Farmers Agent to Me:

Dear Applicant,

We have reviewed your resume obtained from We offer the opportunity for you to be in business for yourself with the Nation's third largest Auto, Home, Life, Financial Services and Business insurer. Farmers will help license, train, and put you in your own Multi-Line Insurance Agency.

You may continue your present job and earn full income while training. If you would like the independence of self-employment with a major company backing you, if you desire unlimited earning potential and the ability to earn what you are worth, this could be what you have been looking for. Our standards are high but the rewards are well worth it.

Advantages of Farmers Agency Management Program:
May continue your present job while training
Complete Career Training Program
Financial assistance your first two years
Unlimited earning potential
Independence of self-employment

If you would like more information on Agency opportunities in Dallas and surrounding areas, please call, fax, or e-mail our Agency Development Center.

Donny Jones
District Manager
Farmers Insurance Group
(972) 283-2996 phone
(972) 283-2006 fax

My standard response to Donny Jones (if that's his real name):

Eventually someone's going to turn you guys in for your bullshit spamming.

Remove me from your lists. I am now contacting Farmers Corporate office to report this, the SEVENTH email, I've gotten, unsolicited - I am also reporting you to all known agencies who deal with SPAM and CAN-SPAM laws.

Donny then responds to me:

It's not good to use profanity.

Me, to Donny "Fucktard" Jones:

It's not good to break the law and to send unsolicited email - fucktard.

"Fucktard" Jones to me:

Be sure to include a copy of this one when you contact our corporate office... I'm sure they'll be interested in your professional demeanor.

Me to Donny "Dickface" Jones:

Dear Dickface,

My email to you was neither unsolicited, nor was it in violation of any laws - US or otherwise.

So, for the last time, don't email me, you donkey raping shit eater. Further emails will be considered harassment and dealt with as such.

Thank you,
A Loyal GEICO Customer

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Dr. Zoom said...

Ah ... Jane and her potty mouth. You've probably given "Danny" masturbatory material for a week.

Betsie said...

The GEICO zing at the end... PRICELESS.

Shafa said...

I'd totally turn that in to Geico. Maybe the gecko could read it for a commercial.

While doing the robot.