Monday, July 30, 2007

my biggest mistake

How did it come to this? My biggest mistake was letting myself get to this point. This is my fault. I have brought this upon myself.

Very soon reality will hit - the same reality that has hit others in my family...

My body will just stop accepting the insulin I am taking. My kidneys will fail. That's if I don't have a heart attack or stroke first. In the short term, my eyes will get even blurrier than they already are. I won't be able to take care of myself - simple things like going to the bathroom are starting to get difficult.

I'm already to the point where it's painful. I hurt, everywhere, every day. It hurts to sit up for more than a few hours at a time.

And this love of food. I can't ignore it. I can't turn it off. I can't stop it.

I believe it will stop me before I figure out how to stop it.
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