Monday, July 02, 2007

the homeless curse

Becky and I recently took a trip to Chicago. We had a number of "experiences" and I want to make sure I document these, for posterity.

The lead up: B & I did some shopping on State St. I got a fabulous pair of brown linen pants (which I still have not worn) and a couple e of t-shirts from Avenue.

On the way back to our hotel, we stopped at McDonald's for a refreshing beverage and a thing of hot fries with 0 trans fat. We were kicking back for a bit, people watching, when a kid came in, probably 12 or so - with some flyers. He was asking for money for the local youth center's programs [read: drug money for his daddy]... and so B & I dug out all the change we had and gave it to the kid. I think it was like $4 worth.

Quasi-fast-forward 5 minutes. We're on the way out of McD's, and a homeless guy comes in. He stops to ask us to spare him some change [read: enough for his next fix], and I smile and say - we just gave our last bit of cash to that kid. I point to the kid as he's sitting in the McD's counting the change we gave him [read: waiting for us to leave so he can buy hisself some foods] and I laugh.

I laugh because it's funny that one bum missed out because someone else got to us first.

We proceed to leave the McD's, going through the first set of doors - leaving just one to freedom and I comment to B that as a comic I found that whole thing hilarious. I muse that I wonder if Bum Fights started because one bum was like 30 seconds later on asking for the money than the first bum.

Unbeknownst to me, homeless guy is behind us, also leaving McD's. He then shouts at me for laughing! And then he says -

"You could end up just like me and then you wouldn't be laughing."

And then - then he says:

"I hope your house burns down!"

Seriously, the bum cursed me. I was cursed by a bum.

A number of witty retorts came to mind... including:
"I have good insurance"
"I don't own a home"
And my hindsight favorite:
"If I were you, I'd use your powers to better your own situation."

But all that came out of my mouth at that times was “Oh fuck you, I was laughing about the situation not the fact that you are homeless."

So yes, we were cursed by a bum.
Bookmark and Share

No comments: