Thursday, February 02, 2006

yawn... food

I don't expect all of you to understand. I mean, not unless you're a real, true fat-ass (or have been). Not talking about twiggy or pseudo-fatties either... you won't get it unless you're fat. So just skip this if you are not fat or never have been.

And, no, being a "Foodie" isn't enough to understand.

You know you're fat when you give directions based on restaurants as landmarks. "Go up to the Bennigan's, and then take a left. You'll pass 2 Pizza places, and a Mexican restaurant. I'm on the left about 4 blocks from the Subway."

Or when you judge distance by how many soft tacos you could eat on the way.

You have change in your pocket and within seconds you know how many $1 menu items you could get (+ tax) with the change you have.

Even worse, laying in bed deciding which McDonald's you're going to stop at for breakfast on the way to work. You finally decide, and then realize you left one out that's even more convenient.

Today, however, I have a dilemma that, as a fat person, makes me more ashamed than sharing with the public my jeans size.

Yep, bored. It kinda started last night. What to have for dinner - meh. My list of what I wasn't hungry for was bigger than what I was hungry for. And everything I considered I then dismissed. Finally, after getting to the restaurant, I ordered something I didn't really want - or that I didn't want any more or less than anything else.

So it's lunchtime. I realized, just now, that I neglected to even have breakfast. And it's lunch. I'm hungry-hungry-hippos here... and I've got a bevy of restaurants in range. But nothing sounds good. Nothing.

Maybe it's that fucking depressingly blah pot pie I got at Boston Market for lunch yesterday. Talk about let down. I was so craving one - and decided to go there instead of KFC (a lady at work was raving about how Boston Market's pot pie is so much better than KFC), and let me tell you, Swanson is better. Hell, store-brand generic is better. Bleh.

A.D.D. MOMENT: It's like Coldplay and U2. Coldplay is Boston Market's Pot Pie, U2 is KFC's. U2 was around first, a staple of the entertainment world. They're well known, their music is great. When you buy a u2 album you're never disappointed. Then Coldplay comes along and someone's like -"Nooo, Coldplay is the best, better than U2!" They're new, and they are younger and hipper... but they're not that different really. I mean Coldplay has some good songs and great melodies, but they're obviously ripping off some of U2's stuff. u2 will always be known for setting the standard that Coldplay will have to live up to and be compared to. Yeah. Coldplay is a Boston Market Pot Pie and U2 is a KFC Pot Pie. Stick with the sure bet - go with U2.

And for a moment, the thought came to mind that I should try to overwrite that bad pot pie memory. But it just doesn't sound good.

Nothing does.

How did I become this?

How did this horrible thing ever happen?!
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Jill said...

Boston Market's food has gone downhill ever since they were absorbed by a certain 'golden arched' mega-corporation.

I was using the 'Next Blog' function to see who my neighbors were today. Thought I'd say hi. Hope you don't mind. :)

So hi from Massachusetts. :)


Average Jane said...

Hey Jill, welcome!

I used to be a huge fan of BM's Meatloaf Carver, but yeah, as of late - bleh.

I thought McDonald's owned them all along... I mean they got Chipotle right, why not BM?

It's very good to meet you - please come back again, soon.

Dr. Zoom said...

Would that I could become bored with food!

We don't have a Boston Market here in Springpatch, but I do have pleasant memories from it years ago. It's a shame to hear they've apparently gone downhill.

Jane ... hit my blog and see if that does anything for you.

Anonymous said...

Good grief. I was all excited about cooking all this healthy organic stuff for like two days. Then the reality set in. I'm frickin' tired when I get home and I don't feel like doing a lot of prep work, then the cooking and then the dishes.

I used to love Boston Market. It's all crap now. Although the creamed spinach and roast chicken is still da bomb...

Anonymous said...

Canticles: Take advantage of the fact that Central Market will do the work for you. In the veggie section, they have pre-cleaned garlic cloves, just chop and use; they've cut up fresh carrots, fresh onions, fresh celery. They have kits for Tortilla soup, gumbo, vegetable soup, stir fry's, pot roast, and others, where the produce is all already cut up, all you have to do is follow the directions on the recipe card and add meat.

Dirty Secrets said...

I love Central Market. It's a dirty dirty addiction! Their sauteed zucchini and squash is amazing. I agree with the 'bored with food'. For the first time at Christmas I could have cared less about food. Granted I was sick and it was noted by all but even after getting well I still don't crave food. I often go all day not remember what I've eaten and by dinner realizing I had a few handfulls of cashews and half a grapefruit (and thats on a good day). No wonder I've felt like complete shit lately.