that makes me a sad panda...

Today's the first day that I've been really sad about leaving Texas. Actually, with all the moves I've had, this is the first move where I've ever been really sad.

I'm leaving a lot behind (even if some of it is just temporary):

• My dog, stuff, house, husband
• My friends - You have no idea how hard it is to know I'm going to be so far away. And I know we're just a phone call or email or IM away - but it's never the same when 1200 miles is between us.
• Shana - my longest "best friend" in my adult life. We've been through SO much. I'm glad your path led you to Texas, even if you *do* hate it here. You and Ph'lip have a great thing that's worth working on. Keep that good mix of conservative and realistic. I love you so much!
• Betsie - I guess I should tell you now that you've quickly moved up to "best friend" status. You and John are remarkable people. I am going to miss meeting you guys for dinner, movies - but most of all, will miss giving you a big hug and seeing you in general. <3
• Kim - the thought of another girl in comedy workshop irritated me for a while... but I'm SO glad we got to know one another. You are so strong, smart, witty, and YES, FUNNY. Don't give up on what you want. You have tons of time and energy to get whatever it is you are aiming for. Knock em dead on the 14th - I wouldn't expect anything less. And, for your birthday - I'm going to get you a domain name, hosting and build you a website - whenever you're ready - just email me. Loves ya.
• Laurie - My most favorite (non-) hippie ever. You get to take care of Allan's powerstrip. I really appreciate you being an ear, a shoulder and a lot of fun. You're a GREAT mom, and I hope one day to be half as great of a mom and wife as you've shown yourself to be.
• David - It's not often you meet someone older, wiser that you would hang out with. From the minute we met and talked, I was really taken by your wit and intelligence. I hope we can still IM from time to time. And thank you so much for introducing me to Clifford and Reggie. You're a fabulous friend - and I count you one of the dearest.
  
• Micah - The thought that we won't be able to steal a lunch every week or so really bums me out. Thanks for always being a sounding board and for just listening and not trying to be a "man" and fix everything every time I'd talk to you about something. You have a level head, are slow to anger, and are, quite possibly, the best damn HTML developer (other than me) that I've ever met. You are such a great father - and Val is so lucky to have a man like you. I'll miss our inside jokes and making fun of "you-know-who(re)". Best guy-friend, ever.
• Alan - We've been through so much... C.I Hoax, TDDB... Thanks for being the voice of reason when I didn't want to hear it. Thanks for being a go-to when I needed technical expertise. And thanks for bailing my ass out more times than I can count. I love you.
  
• There are tons more folks I should list here, but I am all teary and having trouble typing.
  
• My comedy - Just getting started, and I felt kind of like I was accomplishing something. I don't really know what - but something. Now, I'm going to have to start over. Proving myself all over again. Paying my dues starting from scratch. And maybe I won't be good in Springfield.
• My comedy buddies - Doug, Kim, AJ, Tom, Jack, Ryan, Matt, Shaun and Jack. You guys have really made me think, laugh, laugh-cry and even pissed me off (who wants to follow that bit about the ant diet, Tom? NO ONE!).
  
• Jack - Thanks for being so supportive of new comics. It takes a bitter, jaded, angry, but loving old man to still put so much time and energy into helping us baby comics grow up. You are a gem. I'll be emailing you often to ask you about how to start up a room.
  
• Backdoor Comedy in Dallas - Linda and the folks @ Backdoor have been really great to me. If you can, please support them - http://www.backdoorcomedy.com
  
• My boss - Despite a SHITTY day yesterday, Reggie has been the best boss I've ever had. He's given me more than enough rope to hang myself with too many times - but he's always been there to cut it right before I choke to death. I lashed out yesterday a bit, maybe just because I was upset about leaving.
• My new truck - Leaving it with Mike. I'm kinda scared to drive it, but yeah. My truck.
• My dog - Did I mention I love my dog?
• familiarity - There's something nice about knowing where everything is and how to get there. Re-learning is sometimes frustrating.
• My co-workers - Sure, my office has a serious set of issues, but I really work with great people.
  
• Harley, I'll never have as great of a work husband as you (unless I meet a Gay Jewish guy with a sense of humor, then you'll be replaced).
  
• Lisa, I respect the crap out of you. You put up with so much and always keep cool. I hope you know how valuable you are.
  
• Matthew, hang in there. Your talent won't be overlooked. And no, you can't get me high before I leave.
• Ellen, you are smart, funny, talented and dedicated. Don't let that be taken advantage of.
• Karen, for a pretentious bitch, you sure are a great friend. I am glad that a bad account experience yielded such a great friend.
• Sarah, you sure do work hard, even if you're a rental. Keep being the shining light you are. No matter how much I bitch and make fun of some FC folks, you are truly the real deal. I'm glad we met.
• Linda, I know we didn't get much time to get to know each other - but I admire your smarts and your sense of humor. Give em hell and keep them laughing at the Monday meetings.
  
• Billy, I'm so glad I got the chance to meet you. You are one of the most genuine people I've ever met - and you have really been here for me in good times and bad. Do what's best for you and don't let your talents go to waste. I'm glad to call you "friend".
  
• Robbie, you know your shit! One of the only guys (you and Micah) who does front-end as well as I do. Keep "working that magic."
• Rene, I'll miss you saying good morning every day. And hearing you sip your coffee - and your perfect makeup. Keep them lips red!
  
• Troy, I don't know what to say except it was fun working with you. And every time I think of you I always think - "It's always the quiet ones."

None of this sadness is to diminish the excitement of the move -

• A new town - new places to explore.
  
• A 10 minute drive to work. Yeah. Uh huh.
  
• New people - I've already made some great friends - and I am going to get the joy of spending every day with two of my bestest friends ever.
• New job - A company that respects me already - offering me opportunities that haven't come up for me in my past jobs. I just got an email about a meeting to get a certification - and it's on my 2nd workday.
• Seasons - yeah - I like cold and winter. I just hope it's ok to have my window open a teensy bit at night...
• A chance to re-invent myself. I don't know - maybe just a chance to let go of some things that are haunting me here.
• New comedy experiences - a new set of "buddies" (I hope), new clubs and maybe the chance to be a big fish in a small(er) pond?

So, with that, I'm going to pretend to work. 3.5 more days of work left.